I was on a call yesterday playing test user for a founder who was practicing their user research.

They shared their screen showing me the platform. I hovered over a button labeled "Connections." Paused. Looked confused.

And before I could say anything, they jumped in: "This section shows connections between these people. When you see 'pending,' it means the they have reached out but haven’t been confirmed yet..."

I stopped them.

"Can we try that again? But this time, instead of explaining, ask me what I think it means."

So they did.

"What do you think 'Connections' means?"

I gave them my honest interpretation. It was completely different from what they intended.

Their face went pale. "Oh my god. That's not what it means at all."

Exactly.

Here's what happens in real user testing sessions:

Someone looks confused. You know exactly what they're confused about. And your instinct—because you're a good person who wants to be helpful—is to explain.

But every single time you do that, you're throwing away the most valuable data you could possibly get.

Because your real users? They won't have you sitting next to them explaining things. They'll be alone, making assumptions, getting confused, and either figuring it out or giving up.

That moment when I gave my client my interpretation of "Connections"—that gap between what they meant and what I understood—that's where all the juicy insights live.

If she'd explained it to me, she'd have walked away thinking "Great, the test user understood the feature."

Instead, she discovered a critical UX problem that could’ve confused every single user who came after me.

And she only discovered it because she asked instead of explained.

When someone (or in this case, me pretending to be someone) looks confused, hovers over something, or hesitates before clicking, your instinct will be to explain.

Resist it.

Ask instead: "What do you think that means?"

Or: "What are you looking for?”

Or: "What did you expect would happen when you clicked there?"

These questions reveal what your product actually communicates, not what you think it communicates.

In case you missed it, you can share your screen with zoom and hand over remote control.

This means you can set up your test scenario exactly as you want it (for example, logged in a specific demo account), and let your user move their mouse and explore.

It worked great for my client, too.

She wasn't asking me to log into my own account (which creates friction and variables she can't control). She was watching me control her screen while she observed.

She set up the environment exactly how she wanted it. Then handed over control and practiced staying quiet.

When she got it, her face lit up. "That's so smart! I can control what they see without controlling what they do."

Observing genuine behaviour without interfering with it.

After we finished, she told me the hardest part was resisting the urge to jump in and help.

"I wanted to explain it so badly. Watching you be confused felt awful."

I know. Staying quiet while someone struggles with your product is genuinely uncomfortable.

You'll feel like you're being unhelpful. You might even feel mean.

But that discomfort is the price of real insight.

Would you rather discover confusion in a practice session where you can learn from it? Or after launch when you can't fix it?

Next time you're showing your product to someone:

Prepare questions, not explanations.

Ask what they think instead of telling them what you meant.

Count to ten before you jump in to help.

And remember: Testing isn't about showcasing how your product works. It's about discovering what your product actually says to someone who doesn't already know.

The silence will feel uncomfortable. The confusion will make you twitch.

But the insights are worth every awkward second. 🙌

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Quick legal note: This newsletter shares my experience and opinions, but it's not official financial, legal, or business advice. Every situation is different. Make your own decisions, do your own research, and consult professionals when you need them. You're the expert on your business.